Support the Student Non-Discrimination Act

Senator Al Franken is supporting a bill that would ban discrimination in schools based on sexual-orientation and/or gender identity.  Check out his video below and website for information on how to contact your Senators.

Define Me

"We must not allow other people's limited perceptions to define us."  Virginia Satir

Oh, Virginia Satir.  I've been studying her this past weekend as one of the major players in family systems theory as I prepare to take a final test in order to become a licensed therapist here in Virginia.  I know her more as a humanistic and communications family therapist than as a sage of words and quotes, yet the one above seems wildly appropriate.

Stay with me, people--I promise I'm zeroing in on the beginnings of a point.

You would think I was crazy if I came up to you and asked you to "define me."  You tell me what my value is in this world.  You tell me why I matter.  You tell me why I am important and what I am supposed to do with my life.

Shouldn't I be the one to answer these questions for myself?  Yes, feedback is important and the reflections of ourselves in the mirrors of others help us to continuously grow and change.  However, it starts with each of us, and how we view who we are, where we fit in, and how we can have the most value is of paramount importance.

Except, apparently, if you are a school counselor.  We have a huge identification problem.  I was recently at a meeting in my school district where we tackled these questions, and we kept coming back to the same spot.  One or both of the following tends to happen with school counselors.  First, we tend to be defined by what we do instead of who we are and the impact that we can have, and secondly, we let other people define both who we are and what we do instead of doing it for ourselves.  Additionally, there is no consistency from district to district, state to state, and from school to school, even.  What one school counselor does in one school is not the same as what a guidance counselor does in another state is not the same as what a professional school counselor does in another district.

In other words, we're a hot mess.

Teachers and principals do not tend to have the same issue.  Curriculum may change and class size may vary from place to place, but teachers "teach."  Everyone can picture that pretty clearly, and everyone knows the impact that they can have.  Administrators insure that schools run smoothly, manage day-to-day operations, and set the tone for a whole building--students, teachers, and the community-at-large.  We know who principals are and what their role is.  If you asked for a random sampling of people's perceptions of school counselors, you would get anything from people who discipline students to college recommendation writers to people whose job it is to file papers and drink coffee all day.

Something I will often talk about with my students is "control."  A student will be failing a class, and their reason, when asked, will be that the teacher hates them.  The teacher does not like them, therefore the student doesn't want to do any of the work or behave in class or study and decides they would rather fail the class.  The teacher has all the power over their grade and their future success.  What the student and I then talk about is the amount of control and power over their lives they have given to that teacher to chart the course of their life, and how they can get that power back.

As school counselors, it's time for us to reclaim our power and take control of who we are and where we are heading.

We're beginning to do it, and there is no better time than the present.  There are several things that are aligning right now that could have a huge impact on the value that is placed on school counselors and at the same time will help us to more clearly define our roles for ourselves and for the communities that we work with.  We know our skill-set--we know what we're trained to do.

First, the current national education administration is ready for educational reform, and college and career readiness is at the tip of everyone's tongue.  Arne Duncan, the Secretary of Education, wrote an op-ed in this past Sunday's Washington Post in which he stated:

"We all need to work together so that 10 years from now, America’s children will have the sort of federal education law they so richly deserve — one that challenges them to achieve to high standards, and provides them with the highly effective teachers and principals who can prepare them for success in college and the workforce." (source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/)

Additionally, in a November 26 article in the Washington Post, there is discussion on the new NCLB waivers that the current administration is making available:

"The U.S. Education Department is offering the waivers to states that adopt an “index” system of multiple measures that go beyond annual test results in determining school performance. These include test score growth over time, graduation rates and other evidence that schools have produced students who are college- or career-ready." (source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/)

Thus, there is a lot of discussion about "college and career" readiness in everyone's mind.  In November's School Counselor, the publication sent to members of the American School Counselor Association, there is an article about 21st Century Skills that was written by the Partnership for 21st Century Skills.  They state:

"Within the context of core knowledge instruction, students must also master the essential skills for success in today’s world, known collectively as the 4C’s: critical thinking and problem solving, communication, collaboration, and creativity and innovation....Comprehensive school counseling programs can make all the difference between students who are ready for college and careers and students who are not. School counselors play a crucial role in ensuring students know what will be expected of them in college and the workforce and provide a link between high school and the world at large for students. Knowing the emerging trends of workforce development can make school counselors invaluable allies and mentors for students and other educators in creating supportive learning environments in every school." (Partnership for 21st Century Skills, 2011)

They see that one of the key components in helping students to become ready for the 21st century world of work is school counselors and the blend of our knowledge of the world of work, post-secondary options and planning, and the individual strengths of our students, families, and communities.  Further, through our unique knowledge of our students, we can help to foster these skills of critical thinking, communication, collaboration, and creativity.

Finally, there is NOSCA--the National Office for School Counselor Advocacy.  This organization is only about five years old, and is part of the College Board Advocacy and Policy Center.  If you are like me, you got a survey from college board last year asking school counselors about the profession of school counseling.  They released the results from this survey this past fall.  Highlights include:

• 89% of counselors felt that the mission of the education system should be to ensure that all students, regardless of background, have equal access to a high-quality eduation, while only 38% believed that was actually the reality in their school.
• 85% of counselors felt that the mission of the education system should be to ensure that all students complete the 12th grade ready to succeed in college and careers, while only 30% believed this was actually the case in their school.
• 92% felt that the mission of school counselors was to advocate for all students, while only 54% felt that was the reality in their school
• Large majorities of school counselors (83% and above) felt that the mission of school counselors should be to inspire student to reach goals, address problems to help students graduate, ensure that all students earn a high school diploma ready to succeed, and help students mature and develop skills for the adult world.  Only 49% or less of school counselors felt that this was the actual reality in their schools (source: nosca.collegeboard.com)

There is clearly a disconnect between what school counselor believe the mission of schools and school counseling should be, and what in reality, it is.  This concerns me, as clearly we know, in a large majority, what it is we are meant to do and what our purpose is, yet for many of us this is not our reality.  The report goes on to say that the "most significant challenge for school counselors rests in the ongoing debate over role definition." (NOSCA, 2011).  There are other important kernels of knowledge to take away from this document, but for the purposes of this discussion this is paramount--all signs are pointing to school counselors taking an active role in helping students to become college and career ready in the 21st century, a century in which our current students are training for jobs that in many cases do not exist yet.

As school counselors, we are in a very unique position--we are able to get a picture of the whole student including school, home, work, sports, clubs, community, and goals/aspirations.  We have the knowledge of the child to help open doors and point them to resources that will help them be academically successful in school as well as successful in life.  Further, we are in the position in our schools in which we have the view of the students, the teachers, the administrators, the parents, and the community.  We know who we can ask for assistance and how best to help students navigate the larger system in order to find their path to post-secondary training and future careers.

NOSCA as an organization has made available tons of resources in order to help school counselors become linked with this idea of college and career readiness.  It starts with the Eight Components of College and Career Readiness--by clicking on this link, you will find definitions as well as resources to help you begin to assist your students.  Further, I would highly recommend joining their Own the Turf Campaign which will connect you with e-mail resources as well as an online community to bounce ideas off of and from which to receive further resources.

Our mission, as defined by ASCA, is to remove barriers to academic success.  By strengthening the idea of helping students to be college and career ready and giving it more focus, we are only enhancing our mission, but more importantly we are beginning to define, for ourselves, what our purpose in the educational system is.  We, as a group, were left out of the initial development of No Child Left Behind.  With the conversation beginning to center around post-secondary planning and skill building, and with ASCA and NOSCA becoming stronger voices and allies to our profession, we will not be left out of the next go around.  As school counselors, we have a unique and valuable perspective of the whole student, the educational system, and the world of colleges and careers--we just need to define that perspective as a profession and then share it with the world.

The following work cited is available to members of the American School Counselor Association via their website, www.schoolcounselor.org:
Partnership for 21st Century Skills. (2011).  A Critical Combination: School counselors play a vital role in integrating 21st-century skills and training into the school environment.  School Counselor (November/December 2011).  

Many thanks to the following people for your conversations over the last several months that have helped to form the ideas in this post:  Valerie Hardy, Judy Hingle, Marcy Miller, and Elissia Price, all from Fairfax County Public Schools.

New ACA Case Studies Book Offers Best Practices for LGBTQQI Clients

ACA has just published a new book of case studies, designed to help counselors think through and learn about working with LGBT clients--consider taking a look.

Homophobic Language

Another parent posted an entry to Huffington Post about her thoughts concerning homophobic language and slurs and the possible harmful effects it can have on children.  Even in our schools, you can, from time-to-time, hear comments such as "that's so gay" or slurs such as "fag" or "dyke" come out of the mouths of not only other students but also from adults in the schools as well as parents at home.  What effect does that language have on all of our students?  It can certainly cause more angst, self-loathing, and fear amongst those LGBT students, but it also reinforces the acceptability of such language for everyone else.

Read this parent's take on it here.

A Mother's Take on Homophobia and Kids

This came to my attention from several different fronts.  A blogger and mother wrote a post about the crush that her young son has on Blaine, a character on the television show, Glee!.  Read the original post here. 

She received a lot of feedback and posted a response to the Huffington Post that discusses the comments people wrote to her original post as well as her perspective on homophobic language and its effect on kids, including elementary school-aged children. Worth a read--click here for the post in its entirety.

Anti-Gay Bullying PSA

Karen Gautney, of the LGBT Project, threw this my way.  Check out this great anti-gay bullying PSA from Ireland:

Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?

New Year's Day--a time to reflect on the past, remember the joys, and look expectantly forward to a fresh start.  However, for many families, both looking back and looking ahead is filled with uncertainty, anxiety, and fear.

As school counselors, we know that it is no great secret that economic times have been challenging in the last several years.  Jobs have been lost and companies have had to lay off large portions of their workforce.  Those who are now unemployed can spend months and months looking for work, and when they do find it they often take jobs at much lower salaries with fewer, if any, benefits.  NPR has been running a series called "Road Back To Work" over the last year, and the installment on Friday updated listeners on several of the people they have been following.  The men and women they are tracking have all lost their jobs in the last several years and the stories detail their attempts to find new ones.  In this latest story, many of the participants have found new work after months and months of endless job fairs, sent resumes, and interviews, only to lose them again anywhere from a few weeks to a few months.

In the NPR story, one of the women states that, "I don't know. I never thought life would turn to this for me." (source: www.npr.org) While, contrary to popular stereotypes, there has never truly been a standard picture of what someone who is unemployed looks like, this is a time where people who have played by all the rules (you know the rules--do well in school, get a college degree, get some training beyond the college degree, get job paying good wage with good benefits, live happily ever after) find that even though they've done everything "right," they still face unemployment.  Many news reports, such as this one from CNN this last month, raise the concern that the current generation of workers will struggle more than that of their parents.  Thus, in my job I have worked with families who never thought that they would be struggling in the way that they currently are, ending up in situations where one or both parents has no job, no source of income.  Not only does this pull the rug out from underneath the adults, it also can wreak havoc on the whole family.

Losing a job does mean losing the knowledge of where the money is going to come from, but it has much larger ramifications on a family.  Without benefits, family members may decide to forgo necessary medical and dental care, or, if they do go to the doctor, dentist, or ER, they can rack up quite large medical debt.  Without a salary, families may not participate in the additional educational opportunities they may once have, whether that is tutors, field-trips, or participation in sports or the arts.  Without a salary, families are one mechanical issue away from losing reliable transportation.  Without a salary, families may struggle to provide basic needs like food, shelter and clothing.  This can happen within a few months of losing a job.  A friend of mine shared with me the link to Spent, an interactive website designed by the Urban Ministries of Durham (a group that works with the homeless in Durham, NC).  This website walks you through the difficult choices and decisions many of our families have to make in these tough economic times.  I would highly recommend that you click on the link to Spent and go through the website--it helps to give you a touch of the perspective of what many families are struggling with today.

What can we, as school counselors, do to help our students and their families, through these difficult circumstances?

• Connect them with resources: free and reduced lunch.  For families who have never had to work through unemployment and job loss, navigating the paperwork and the system for accessing things like free and reduced lunch will be completely new.  Sometimes it may be that we have to carefully and compassionately ask questions of our students and families if we or other school personnel happen to notice that there may be a change in circumstances, and then help to educate then on any services that may be available.  Further, having a good relationship with your cafeteria manager and food service is invaluable--they can help you to move things along more quickly.
• Connect them with resources:  social services.  I am truly fortunate in my current position that we have an amazing school social worker in our building as well as central offices that assist with our homeless students.  If you do not have people who can serve as these resources, it is important that you then at least know who families  can contact--phone numbers, e-mails, etc.--if they find they are going to lose their house and be on the streets, or if they no longer have medical insurance and need to apply for Medicaid or state-insurance for their children.  Perhaps they need clothes and shoes for their growing children.  Connect with other counselors, social service providers, or mental health workers in your locale to get referrals, and then keep a list handy so that it is there when you need it.  Further, the parents and guardians may ask you if you know of any jobs or job centers within your community--it's never a bad idea to have one or two of those on the list, as well.
• Connect them with resources:  programs and considerations within the school.  Oftentimes students who qualify for free/reduced meals also qualify for waived or reduced fees for arts programs and athletics.  Further, your PTSO may have a special fund to quietly help students who need a little bit of extra help to pay for things like field trips or prom tickets.  If they do not, perhaps you can help to start such a fund.  Additionally, these students may need some extra academic help but not have the money to pay for it.  Perhaps your National Honor Society or National Junior Honor Society has student tutors looking for extra hours, or perhaps there is a local community organization that sponsors free tutoring either in the schools or at local libraries or even churches, temples, mosques, or synagogues. 
• Check in more frequently with that student(s).  Once you become aware of a family whose economic situation has changed in a significant way, it is important to build a relationship with that student and the family so that you can offer assistance and resources should the need arise.  Further, checking in periodically with the student to see how things are going is good for two reasons.  First, it will give you information as to if there are any further changes, and secondly, it will strengthen your relationship with the student so that he/she will be more likely to come to you on their own should the need arise.
• Advocate for your students.  In the Spent game, it comes up that often children will not eat free/reduced lunch because of the stigma.  In my district, all of our students use account numbers when they go through the lunch line, so there is no immediate recognition available to other students simply based on when/where/how they get their lunch.  If your school still has a program that makes the lunch status of students transparent, perhaps you can advocate for change.  It is important to honor the confidentiality of students who are eligible for free/reduced services.  Indeed, it can be necessary for some faculty members, coaches, and arts directors to know that a family is going through hard times, but it is helpful to remind them that this is not something to ever be discussed publicly and that the information is private.

We may not be able to find jobs for all of our families that may need one, but we can help to connect them with resources to make this period in their lives just a little bit easier.  Most important, we can do our best to make sure that the lives of our students, at school, remain steady and consistent, giving them a place that they can rely on even amidst change and uncertainty at home.